Design (Thinking) for Social Anxiety
Some time ago, I attended a brainstorm session for a new co-working space and was placed on the community management team.
Just throwing a bunch of people together in a space doesn't make them a community. So what does? It was our role to think about how to ease interactions and help members connect with one another.
Facilitating interactions
Have you ever entered a co-working space or attended one of these social networking events and felt so anxious you couldn't connect to anyone? I know I have.
Because I was going through a phase of increased social anxiety at the time of the brainstorm, I started thinking about how difficult these environments - in which you're expected to connect, but left to your own devices - can be sometimes.
Most events and spaces are designed for confident extroverts. In reality, this group consists of a 'lucky few' while the rest of us are either introverts, shy, or coping with some level of social anxiety.
Based on that, we started building some simple interventions to make it as easier to talk to someone - even when you’re feeling socially awkward.
Our solutions were hardly original (I included them below this post in case you're curious), but the concept that sparked them is worth discussing. It ended up on our title slide as: [b]Design for Social Anxiety[/b].
We all suffer from social anxiety
Social anxiety is the fear of social situations that involve interaction with other people. In some cases a crippling disability, social anxiety is something we all experience to some degree. Every person in the room is a little bit nervous about meeting new people for the simple reason that we're biologically engineered to do so.
When we visit these places and feel uncomfortable, we might think we're lacking the social skills. But it's not us that is failing, it's the design.
Relating to Design Thinking's extreme users
If you design with social anxiety in mind, you will include everyone suffering from more serious anxieties, while also benefiting everyone experiencing a milder version by giving them an easier time connecting to others.
I realized that this approach corresponds with the IDEO/d.school’s concept of the 'extreme user'. They recommend, when developing a product or service, to learn from and design solutions for your extreme users. "An idea that suits an extreme user will nearly certainly work for the majority of others.”
"When you speak with and observe extreme users, their needs are amplified and their work-arounds are often more notable. This helps you pull out meaningful needs that may not pop when engaging with the middle of the bell curve. However, the needs that are uncovered through extreme users are often also needs of a wider population.”
Design for social anxiety
I believe social anxiety awareness could help us design more meaningful and inclusive experiences.
My friend and fellow co-working fanatic Pier Stein was present at the brainstorm night and started incorporating what I had coined design for social anxiety into events he was organizing. “I never thought of it, but it makes a whole lot of sense. It’s like building an elevator”, he said, “they make sure it has a capacity of 1500 or 2000 kg even though it states a max of 1000 kg”, and in reality, will rarely carry more than 200.
We all crave realer connections and more meaningful conversations. But we don't all know how to spark them, or simply can't muster the courage.
Imagine the interactions and experiences we could facilitate if we would create events, spaces and services consciously keeping this in mind? What would happen if we would design for social anxiety?
What do you think? Please share your thoughts and if the concept resonates with you, please pay it forward so we can spread the word and make a change.
With love,
Nadia
PS: Some of the ideas we had to facilitate interactions were:
- onboarding each member by introducing them to 3 existing members they have something in common with;
- having little signs on which members write welcoming prompts like “interrupt me anytime to chat about …” or “I can help you with … ” or “I’m looking for help on …”, and place them next to themselves where they’re working;
- set up a matchmaking pinboard for people ask and offer services for example for networking but also language exchange, peer to peer learning, gym or special interest buddies;
- hang posters with generic but meaningful conversation starters such as “what’s your favorite thing about today?” or “what’s the one thing you want to achieve today?" around public areas such as coffee machines or bars;
- placing unusual or interactive items around the space to spark movement and conversation.
Pani Puri's, Rickshaws, Wedding Gowns & Mental Breakdowns: The ups and downs of my first 2 weeks in Mumbai
Mumbai is a city surrounded by questionable stereotypes and mixed messages. Telling people I'd be moving here, I was always initially met by surprise, followed by the most distant range of emotions. There seemed to be 2 categories, and 2 categories alone:
- people who adored Mumbai,
- and people who absolutely hated it.
Growing only more curious, I had to go see for myself and develop my own opinions.
2 weeks into Bombay life, I figured I'd share my experiences and first impressions with you.
KTH - BOM
Equal parts excited and frightened, I boarded my plane from Kathmandu to Mumbai on a Sunday afternoon. Looking around and realizing I was the only white person on the Nepal Airlines flight: I knew my journey had started. In just 24 hours, I moved from the peaceful Buddhist monastery (a blog about my week there is coming up) to the madness of Mumbai's streets.
This switch symbolized the theme for the weeks to come: contrast. My first 2 weeks living in India have been a rollercoaster of ups and downs, moving between awe and panic, between celebrations and mental breakdowns.
The ups & the downs
Let’s start with all there is to rejoice in. On free days, I hop from one creative hideaway spot to another hipster cafe, taking a rickshaw (those are the Indian tuktuks) for 30 rupees as soon as I get tired or lost. I had the privilege to attend an Indian wedding, and dress accordingly as an Indian princess (hence the lehenga fit in my picture, yes, and the fab makeup by my new friend and MUA Aanchol). I've met like-minded and very welcoming locals, who besides lending me their stimulating conversation over brunch and drinks, have been going out of their way to show me and tell me about the best things in town.
Which brings me to the next highlight: eating and trying out all the tasty snacks and dishes around. It's all spicy AF which I love, and the Indian people are as confused about my love for spicy food as the Spanish were about me not eating jamĂłn. Take pani puri, a pastry ball in which they pour spicy water juice being sold in little stalls on every other street corner - I know it sounds weird as hell and I was skeptical myself, but one serving is enough to convert you for life. Then there's sathya, a Kerala dishes which comes served on a banana leaf and is eaten with hands. Not to forget, I work every day from and for Ministry of New - a design-inspired co-working space and being voted the 2nd most beautiful co-working space in the world, it's undoubtedly the most beautiful space in Mumbai - alongside a community of very impressive freelancers and entrepreneurs. These are the ups.
Then there's moments in which I find myself absolutely lost and low. Not knowing where I am, taxis refusing to take me on or not understanding my destination even though I give them Google Maps (it's still a mystery to me why they can't read maps), people following me down the street for a few minutes and angrily screaming at me in Hindi for no apparent reason, and others pushing cameras in your face to take pictures of you without asking (I know it sounds unreal but yes, this actually happens all the time). Then there's a daily 3-hour commute from which I regularly get so sick I have to throw up. And the noise, the noise never stops - even when you're inside or it's night. These are some of the struggles.
My days have been not a gentle swaying, but a crude slinging, between these alternate impressions and emotions.
Although a seemingly empty statement, the best way to describe it all is to say that it’s a lot.
Bombay lifestyle
India being the birth place of yoga, contemporary Bombay lifestyle has very little to do with this historical sentiment.
Everything seems to hit you harder here. Your rest seems futile, your meals heaven sent, your hangovers deadly, your commutes a quest. People work late, generally starting at 10 and finishing at 8. There is always shit happening and invites being thrown at you left and right; festivals, art weeks, parties, dinners, events. The hours pass by in the blink of an eye, and a single week seems to hold months worth of activity. Boredom is not an option and perception of time is skewed.
Beneath the thick layer of excitement, I feel physically and mentally exhausted.
I assumed this intensity was just my subjective experience and a natural side effect of moving to a new place. But all locals confirm that they struggle to find their equilibrium in this town, being pulled from one impulse to the next. Bombay life is characterized, to all that inhabit it, as hectic and like the city itself, full.
Why you keep calling it Bombay?
Right, about the name. So when I came here I noticed how everyone here still refers to the city as Bombay, not Mumbai. It turns out the guy responsible for that renaming back in '95 was a nationalist dickhead so out of principle locals rather not endorse it. Thank you Suleiman for the quick history lesson on this.
All in all
The other day I was calling my mom and she asked me if I liked Mumbai? To my own surprise, I realized I didn’t have an answer to that simple question.
It’s all been so unfamiliar and overwhelming, it’s hard to make up the balance. Besides, Mumbai couldn’t give a shit less whether you like it or not. It just goes on buzzing, hustling, and honking of course.
Do I like the fact I came here to experience all this? To that I know the answer: yes.
There are some very comical and some truly challenging difficulties to fitting in and adjusting here. It would be naive to think that there wouldn’t be.
Although some days are easier than others, this culture shock and wave of new influences is exactly what I came here for. And it does not fall short.
Yours truly,
live from Khar Social (a fantastic hipster cafe here),
Nadia
PS: If you like to follow my day-to-day adventures in Bombay, connect with me on the Gram!
https://www.instagram.com/p/Berv1tfHD2s/?taken-by=nadiapiet